New look for my LJ for winter, even if it is a day late

Well, not so much a new look but new pictures and colour scheme - I have just discovered that my Sonic cineplayer has a capture video frame, and I've been playing around with it, my Buffy dvds and Photoshop.  One of these days I'll learn about banners, and make one for my LJ.  In the mean time I'll have fun with my incredibly limited knowledge.  It's not like I can perform a makeover miracle on my kitchen like some people I know  ::glances sideways at fer1213 ::

Feeling a little low this week, guess it's the slump after the birthday weekend and essay stuff.  To add to the woe I have been called for a 'meeting' at school with J's deputy principal next week, can hardly wait for that.  I will be so pleased when J has finished with high school - only four more months, halle*bloody*lujah.  Just like that old lady in Parenthood said, life is like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, but I'll take that over a merry-go-round anyday - just wish the lows weren't so low sometimes ... 

Off to my 30th school reunion the weekend after next, maybe that's the cause of the blues, 30 years since I did my School Certificate, plus seeing old school friends and worrying about how I look - have no idea why I'm going.  Oh yes I do - my mother still lives in my hometown, and I couldn't stand the guilt trip I'd get from her if I don't turn up ::grumbles, bloody mothers, bloody kids, bloody school reunion::

Blues could also be associated with my Dad's birthday - he would have been 91 yesterday, he died 21 years ago, and I still miss him as badly today as I did then.

  • Current Mood: apathetic apathetic
I really don't want to go to the reunion, but don't have much choice - Mum wants us home for the weekend - one of my aunts has just been diagnosed with more cancer, and it's not looking good. Don't even have any contact with anyone anymore either, but it would be fairly hard to be in town for the weekend and not go to the bloody reunion. I'm so paranoid about my size, and what other people will think - know I shouldn't worry about it, but it's my one big area of problematic self-esteem - God knows how I got past it to go on the Einstein Factor, let alone meet new people.

I do know of quite a few of my classmates who have gotten divorces - there is also a large percentage of them that got married quite late, and have wee children, not great hulking adult children.