Pissed Off by beneathgulmissy

Stressed to the max, that would be me

I promised myself I wouldn't do it (whinge about my mother-in-law that is), but I have to put it down somewhere, so here it is - behind a cut tag to save everyone else from the tedium of it:

The neverending saga of the aftermath of that one tiny enquiry by my husband ... he thought he had settled her down about the house (no we don't want you to move out of your house so we can move into it), OK if you want to help us out financially that's OK, we'll put it towards a new car.  So the matter is closed, no of course not.  Just in the last couple of days I have had phonecalls from her - do we need the money because someone needs urgent medical treatment, NO; do we need the money because we've been evicted, NO, and on and on and on.  I knew we should have rejected the offer of money - certainly from what I have learnt from my own family, it always comes with strings, physical or mental.  In my own family's case it's usually tied up with guilt and thrown at you at the worst possible time e.g. Christmas dinner 1981, my father's comment to me "do you realise your mother and I could have gone on a world trip on the money that you've cost us at university" - way to bring in the Christmas cheer Dad.  Families suck sometimes, beyond the telling.

My main concern for my m-i-l is her mental health, but those are decisions that BM and I really don't want to face.  We've already been through it with his Dad - Alzheimer's is just so heartbreaking, I would hate to think his Mum is going that way too.  However I'm being incredibly selfish at the moment, attempting to put my studies (last essay for semester due next week), and my own family first (not wanting anything to spoil J's 18th birthday this Sunday), and that of course is stressing me out as well.  Life sucks sometimes ...

All I really want to do is crawl inside one of my fandoms and forget about the world around me (and possibly not inflict my tales of woe on my flist), but I guess that is as transient as my wish for a happy Spuffy ending in S7.  Yep, life really and truly sucks.

  • Current Mood: stressed stressed
Thanks for the hugs Jen, just what I need. Sorry about your aunt, I can totally understand the situation for your Mum. I'm trying so hard to not be negative in my posts, or not post at all, but sometimes LJ is the only outlet I have. Of course the fact that I can't submerge myself in Buffy or Farscape watching because I've got a stupid essay to do, isn't helping either!

The only thing that will ruin J's b'day bash is rain, and what's the bet that the six-year drought we have been suffering will be broken by a major downpour on Sunday - Little Miss Positive, that's not me!!

I hope all is well in your little patch of the universe, home renovations aside :).
First off ::sends big hug::.

Remember that story I told you about our little runner when my brother was dying? I think you have done enough, and it is okay to be selfish for a bit. You've done more than enough, and there's only so much you can do. Plus: finishing your BA and paying attention to your son is hardly selfish. Also, never worry, responding to woes is a friend's privilege.
Firstly, hug much appreciated.

Secondly, thank you so much for saying it's OK to be selfish - we Mums/daughters/sisters/wives sometimes get lost in everybody else's needs, don't we? Think I will do some mental running away, seeing as the physical method is out of the question, and of course the next time we are away for the weekend it will be spent with my Mum, so you know, more stress there. At least BM and I will be spending the night with friends on the Fri night at Burrinjuck Dam, before heading 'home' for the big 30th school reunion.