RealVampiresDon'tSparkle by me

And so it ends ...

J just received word that the main instigator in the murder of his friend T has been found guilty, and is now awaiting gaol sentencing.  It's been a long haul since T's disappearance in 2000, and then the discovery of his body two years ago, and the charging of the two boys (and they were only boys at the time of the murder, 15 and 17) with the crime.  J has gone to join his friends who were in the court today, probably the best company for him at the moment.  I doubt that this will, in any way, bring closure to J, his friends, or T's family, but at least it's over.  Sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do as a parent to help your child, and that is probably the hardest thing about parenting that you will ever have to face.
  • Current Mood: sad Beyond sad
Oh God, that whole thing is just so awful. How could those kids have done such an appalling thing? Think what T's parents must have gone through -- well, I guess you would have done that a lot. Hope J is OK.
How could those kids have done such an appalling thing?
It's beyond comprehension isn't it, and hard to believe it was all because T supposedly 'flirted' with M's girlfriend - that's what teenagers do, flirt and joke around, have some fun, not plot and execute a murder.

As heartbreaking as it must be for T's family, at least they know what happened to him. They said all along that he wasn't the type of boy to just disappear - must be harder, in many ways, for those parents who never find out what happened to their child.

J internalises a lot of stuff, like most males. He seems OK, and we talked a little about it, but I didn't want to force the issue. Will keep a bit closer eye on him over the next few days than I normally do, just in case though.
Oh, I've stuffed up here and there, let me assure you, but in the end, all we can do is our best, and hope that somewhere along the way, that it is enough.
It must be terribly gruelling for all of you, but especially for J to have to go through such things at so vulnerable an age (not just the death of a friend, but knowing that he was murdered, and that he knew the murderers). How does BM react to all this?
It was a very strange time for us when JK first confessed, and then T's body was found, because J was going through all that stuff, and BM and I had a very close friend attending the murder trial of his daughter - to have our lives touched by not one but two violent tragedies, not sure if we handled any of it very well, but at least we were the adults - can only imagine how hard it has been for J and his friends to deal with, how can you prepare them for something like this. BM is like J (or perhaps that should be the other way round), keeps things to himself, blows up, and then supposedly it goes away, but I worry that both of them never fully deal with their emotions/problems. I suspect that this is all a bit of an incoherent ranmbling, my mind's all over the place today.
Thanks for that, I sort of forgot I've got new people on my flist (that's always surprising in itself to me). Here's a bit of a summary to clue you in on the situation, if you are interested. My son J had a friend T go missing in 2000, J was 13, he has a group of older friends who were around 16/17 at the time - they are all still very close friends today. Two years ago a boy JK came forward (during Missing Persons Week, where T's case was profiled) and admitted to being involved in T's murder, and implicating M as the main protagonist. He also lead police to the body. JK pleaded guilty and has been in gaol since. M's case went to trial at the start of the year, and he has just been found guilty, now awaiting sentencing. M planned the murder because T had supposedly been flirting with M's girlfriend - pretty hard to believe that a 15 yr old could decide that was an effective way to get revenge on someone. JK and M were also part of the group of friends, they had been visitors in my house, it was very weird for everyone concerned, and heartbreaking for T's family and friends. It has been especially hard on J and his group of friends, as they have battled to deal with the emotions and anger brought about by this event, something not easy for adults, let alone adolescent boys.
Oh, dear. That's just a tragedy. :( I'm so sorry for J, and everyone involved. They're children, really. So young to deal with this.

What kind of punishment do they have there for juvenile offenders?
We have juvenile detention centres, and as they were 15 and 17 at the time of the murder, they are charged as juveniles, and sentenced as such. Not sure of the exact time but I think JK was sentenced to 10 years, and M will probably get somewhere between 15-20 years. I also think that they are transferred to an 'adult' prison at a certain point, but not sure whether that is 18 or 21.